You’ve Been Tagged! - 25 Actual Reasons I Don’t Have Time to Play Facebook Tag

1. I’ve got three kids. Ok, so it’s not that good of a reason, because clearly I’m doing everything I can to avoid that fact. But on it’s face, and if my husband were to read this, three kids require way too much attention for me to be able to participate in facebook tag.
2. I need to clean my oven. Seriously, it’s on my list for this week. I even bought the Easy-Off.
3. I need to drive back and forth to Target 17 times for no particular reason but mostly because I forgot my list.
4. I have to go through the Sunday circular to cut out coupons that I will never use.
5. Then I have to file those coupons in a little envelope that I will loose until mid-September 2009, at which point any coupons I may have actually been interested in using, will be just expired.
6. I need to get myself LinkedIn, which will require me making up a career and adequately embellishing my education. I need to get LinkedIn so I can finish stalking the people I couldn’t locate on facebook.
7. I need to sort two laundry baskets full of socks, most of which are black gold toe dress socks, of varying weaves.
8. I need to check the lot numbers on the two economy-sized jars of peanut butter I got at Costco in July of 2005, to make sure that they’re not involved in the great Peanut Butter Recall.
9. I will then need to do some internet research to confirm that salmonella can not live for more than three years, so that I feel better about the fact that I made six peanut butter sandwiches for my kids’ lunches just this morning.
10. I need to clean the bottom left-side of the base of every toilet in my house, because my five-year old son does not believe in a hands-on approach to urination.
11. I need to check my facebook account every 12 minutes, to make sure that I haven’t missed any chances to snicker at someone’s status update.
12. I need to get up, walk to my refrigerator, open it, stare at the food and wait for something that is both delicious and magically thinning, to surface. I will need to repeat this action 27 times.
13. After 27 attempts at healthy eating, I need to go to the refrigerator and eat two polly-o cheese sticks in rapid succession, while standing in front of the open door.
14. I need to spend approximately 4 minutes feeling really annoyed that I ate those cheese sticks. Then I need to make myself feel better by returning to the refrigerator and eating another one.
15. I need to empty my dishwasher and then reload it with the same dishes after I realize that I never ran it last night.
16. I need to reassemble the playmobile zoo without the instructions.
17. I need to search epicurious.com for a wholesome kid-friendly recipe featuring one over-ripe granny smith apple, a giant bag of pepperoni, green beans, blueberry-flavored greek yogurt, and 2/3 of a cup of orange juice.
18. I need to catch up on four episodes of Top Chef (if you know who won restaurant wars, don’t tell me), finish season 2 of the Tudors, and figure out why Tamara got Gretchen so drunk on The Real Housewives of Orange County.
19. I need to check if my daughter’s mali uromastyx (that’s a lizard) is actually still alive. This requires more time than you might think, since the critter doesn’t visibly breath.
20. I need to search craigslist for a gently-used calico critters house, an ottoman, and a bench for small children to sit on and remove their boots before tracking slush all over my house.
21. After I look for those things on craigslist, I’ll need to spend a significant amount of time reading other posts, just to make sure I’m not missing out on anything really good.
22. I need to find all my missing sports bras. I would check the laundry chute first, but that seems so unlikely.
23. I need to quick run my vacuum cleaner long enough to make some lines in the carpet so it’s obvious that I "just cleaned."
24. I need to read my husband’s parenting blog to make sure he’s not taking credit for everything again.
25. I need to figure out how to poke all the people that tagged me. And then I need to figure out how to buy them lots of "drinks" and "gifts" and shower them with unwanted facebook attention.