We will be attending the school benefit this weekend. Aside from the availability of alcohol and the obvious absence of my kids, I’m not overly excited. This type of thing requires way too much effort going in: buying tickets, finding babysitter, thinking of an outfit - laundering the outfit - applying superhuman willpower not to buy a new outfit, all this and the whole showering-shaving-make-up thing.
And for a stay-at-home mommy like me, it requires the additional prep of researching and readying myself for adult conversation - or "cocktail talk". I’m a smart girl but somehow I don’t think my fluent Spanish (“C’mon Vominos…”) or shape knowledge will impress the other benefactors with whom I’ll be mingling. So, in an effort to not look like a complete moron in adult company, I’ve been brushing up on current events. And I’ve even decided to go highbrow - I’ve put aside the US Weekly in favor of Newsweek. And in the course of my "studies" I came across two news items that I thought might be of interest to my reader (not a typo, I’m aware of what goes on here).
First, Sarah Kliff on the Newsweek health beat reports that kids’ proclivity toward healthy eating can in fact be easily influenced ( I’m practicing using big words for my big night out). Translation: new research shows that getting kids to eat their veggies is actually easier than expected. Obviously this is total hooey, but I’ll give you the details anyway. According to the Ivy League’s finest (researchers at Yale and Cornell), "the problem may not be the presence of junk food after all: it’s that the good food just isn’t appealing enough." Ah Ha! That’s what forty-thousand a year buys you! To combat the unappealingness of veggies, the scientists suggest using some creative super-power labeling. For example, when Kindergartners were told they were eating “x-ray vision carrots”, the kids ate 50% more. So that means that the promise of seeing through EVERYTHING, got kids to nibble the tops off of baby carrot doused in ranch dressing rather than two! Wow - that is the stuff of superheroes.
For those of you interested in trying this new and surely powerful labeling technique at home, I submit the following suggestions. First, try calling asparagus, “toxic pee asparagus” – if the promise of overwhelmingly fowl smelling urine won’t get your preschoolers to ingest the vegetable, nothing will. Broccoli is chock full of vitamins and has even been touted as one of the vegetable world’s most promising antioxidants, how about calling it “keep your hair broccoli” (awful I know). And finally what about a catch-all super-power for any vegetable that might land on their plates? Try, pointing out the veggie’s inherent force-field powers, as in “If you eat those brussels sprouts without whining, I won’t have to strangle you…”
In other health news, also from Newsweek (really did you think I could widen my net in just one night?), it seems that circumcision rates are decreasing. And it’s not just because snipping is no longer in vogue. Instead it’s because at $300 a pop (or chop) circumcision is becoming a luxury not a necessity for new parents whose insurance companies no longer cover the elective procedure. You can read the details here. On this I have no comment, other than I’m sure my husband is happy he had an extra $300 on hand when our son was born.
Maybe we’d all be better off if I stay home Saturday night.
Posts
1 comment:
Incidentally, my boys all like Spinach, thanks to good old Popeye. It seriously worked for them as well as it worked for me when I was a kid. Who knew! I have often wished that bags of carrots had special prizes and characters on the bag instead of sugary cereals.
Post a Comment